Prologue
I’ve been seeing more and more ads for Morning Recovery, a new-ish product that was created by a former Tesla engineer as a way to prevent hangovers. Gotta love those internet ad algorithms. Since I’ve been looking for new fun things to write about, I figured taking this magical drink for a spin would be the perfect fit.
A few days ago I took to Amazon and ordered the cheapest offering they had, a 6-pack of the 3.4 oz bottles for a whopping $35. The product design is solid with small glass bottles wrapped in satin blue with a gold cap.
Like the design, Morning Recovery marketing is bold as well with statements like it “helps minimize the “rebound effect” alcohol has on your brain. That means no more headaches, fog or other lingering effects of alcohol the next day. More productivity for you!” and “Wake up refreshed with liver superhero Dihydromyricetin (DHM) to help detox and counter the negative effects of alcohol”.
Sounds great to me. To put this product to the test I’ve decided to dedicate tonight (Friday) to having a few more drinks than I normally would as I hate hangovers and don’t find them to be worth it at all.
Drinking for science! Here we go.
The Night
It was a long week of work and my team has been up against a deadline for what feels like years. A night to cut loose is exactly what I needed as I know that the next couple of weeks have some stressful days in store.
Tonight will be a good night.
After playing Battleship with Kate it’s time to hit the Patriarch. Seeing the new menu launch for Ok Yaki on Thursday provided the perfect excuse to hit up our favorite local bar. Shortly after making the decision I received a text from our friend Tracy (@theokcfoodeater) informing us that him and his wife, Amanda, would be there as well. Hanging out with those two always results in a good time and way too many drinks.
The Patriarch is fantastic. The weather is perfect, the back patio is alive, our drinking partners are as fun as ever, and I’m eating many foods on a stick. Paired with said food is a great selection of pours including Prairie Birthday Bomb and Roughtail’s new Gym Selfie IPA. I love this place.
Now I’m home and the first thing that needed to happen was an Old Fashioned. Kate recently made some watermelon simple syrup for a cocktail she wrote up here, so I stole some and after combining it with some peach bitters I had sitting around, a light and tropical Old Fashioned was born.
I am in no way three sheets to the wind, but I’m working on it. This won’t be my last drink…
Ok more drinks have happened. Kate made me that Yogi Bear cocktail and after that I whipped up a killer Sazerac. This night is playing out perfectly, almost as if I planned it. Kate is making me watch YouTube videos of a crazy hippy chick and it’s really driving home how little I understand about the world.
Alright one more Old Fashioned should do it…
It did it…now I have the hiccups.
Time to pop the Morning Recovery. Suck it, Saturday morning hangover!
The Next Morning
My head is throbbing, I feel sick, and I can’t move. That little blue bottle didn’t appear to do shit. Would I be more hungover if I didn’t drink it? I don’t know, but what I do know is that I am definitely not ready to go out into the world and face whatever challenges it has for me. There shall be no productivity today. I want to lay on the couch, play Playstation, take naps, and have Kate whip me up a packet or two of the Pedialyte Advanced Care we have in the kitchen cabinet. Throwing up may be somewhere in the schedule as well.
Screw this, I can’t write any more.
Epilogue
It’s now Saturday evening and I’m pretty much back to normal. Today sucked.
If you want to avoid hangovers, spending $35 on magic blue bottles probably isn’t going to cut it. They apparently have a money back guarantee but I’ll go ahead and keep the rest around for an energy boost in the middle of the day since they are packed with vitamins and whatnot, but they will not be saving any mornings. Or maybe I’ll give them to other folks and see if they have better results.
No more hangover tests for me.
The whole booze-related product test thing seems fun and I may do more of it. If you have any ideas on what would be fun for us to test, hit us up. Or if you have a product you want tested, we would be happy to take it for a spin. Preferably they won’t be things that lead to a terrible morning.
